The following article was posted on 5/21/2008 from the Red Bull Air race Newsroom

The Red Bull Air Race remains in the U.S. for the third stop of the 2008 season in Detroit, Michigan on May 31 and June 1. The ‘Motor City’ is a brand new addition to the World Series calendar and the city, steeped in automotive and aviation history with an abundance of sports fans, will make an ideal location for the race where twelve of the world’s best pilots, including three Americans, will introduce the Midwest to a new dimension in motorsport.

A challenging 3.8 mile-long race track will be positioned over the Detroit River, one of the world’s most trafficked international shipping lanes. This will be the first time that a Red Bull Air Race is staged in two countries at the same time - between Detroit and the Canadian city of Windsor, Ontario. Spectators will enjoy close up views of all the action along downtown Detroit’s five-mile long, spectacular riverfront.

After a phenomenal race under the Californian sunshine in San Diego earlier this month, which drew a crowd of 120,000 fans over two days, the competition has started to really tighten at the top. Britain’s Paul Bonhomme currently leads the pack with 18 points after victories in the first two races and defending champion, American Mike Mangold is hot on his heels with 15 points followed closely by 2007 rookie, Austrian Hannes Arch with 14 points.

“It is getting closer,” said Bonhomme. “It’s going to make the rest of the year interesting.”

Detroit is recognised as being home to the automotive industry but less known perhaps are its connections to aviation. The city is birthplace and hometown of renowned aviator Charles Lindbergh - pilot of the first nonstop Transatlantic flight from New York to Paris made in the single seat, single engine aircraft Spirit of St. Louis on May 20-21, 1927.

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is thrilled that Detroit will host a Red Bull Air Race and said, “We thank you, Red Bull Air Race, for bringing the World Series right here to Detroit. We said this to the Super Bowl, to the NCAA, the best race that you will have in your entire series will be the race in the city of Detroit.”

Qualifying takes place on Saturday, May 31 followed by Race Day on Sunday, June 1. 41,000 race weekend tickets were sold out in a heartbeat.

This is the story of Frank Christ

(Loosely based on the over imaginative mind of a man with too much time on his hand)

Chapter 3 – I know tons of shit…

I don’t want to toot my own horn but I’m a very smart person. You know when people use the term “it’s not rocket science”? The simple truth; if it was rocket science… I wouldn’t even break a sweat! Listed below are many things I played a role inventing:

1. The diaper
2. Ice Cube Tray
3. Red Bull Energy Drink
4. E=MC2
5. San Francisco
6. Grunge Music
7. The One Night Stand
8. Turtle neck sweaters
9. Bugs Bunny
10. White-faced Whistling Duck
11. Meatloaf
12. Candy Canes
13. The Ice scraper
14. The Aspirin
15. The Corndog
16. 3D Glasses
17. The Windsor knot
18. Make-up Sex
19. Spam
20. Fogless Glass

I understand that society has led you to believe that people like Einstein invented E=MC2 or that Walt Disney came up with Bugs Bunny! However, I was the one who pulled many of the great historians of the world out from the gutter. For example, Einstein sold his soul to Lucifer (funny story) and I had to bail him out!

Jesus is always saying things like “Frank, they will never learn if you keep showing them way”. I think that just BS; I mean if my brother and God were singing a different tune during the “Winged Angels Union Strike”! Back then it was all “Frank you’re the man” and “You’re the only one who can make this happen”.

During the Angels Strike, I was the only one to walk across the line (well pearly gate) and continue working. Do you know what it’s like to have 14,836, 566 angels calling you a scab? I still have no idea what they went on strike for; if I recall, it was something about the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”! In fact, I heard they were close to striking again when some dip-shit director decided it would be cool to have John Travolta play an angel. I’d be pissed too if I was angel, that guy’s part of Lucifer’s growing religion… Scientology!

I’m only mentioning some of my above ideas and inventions to help you better understand why I have decided to start my new business. It was amazing how I came up with it; almost as cool as how Doc Brown came up with the idea of the flux capacitor (which is what makes time travel possible) after slipping off his toilet while standing on it to hang a clock and bumping his head.

You see a few years ago I thought it would be cool to come up with a way all the young people of today’s society could socialize and interact with one another. I was never a big fan of chat rooms on the Internet; have you seen “To Catch a Predator” with Chris Hanson? I wanted to make a popular social networking website offering an interactive, user-submitted network of friends, personal profiles, blogs, groups, photos, music and videos for teenagers and adults internationally.

So I called my old friend Moses (who owed me a huge favor) and we created a little website called “Myspace”. What, you thought “Tom” created Myspace. How do you think it would look if I would my real name? That would be horrible; “Myspace, Powered by Frank Christ”!

This is the story of Frank Christ

(Loosely based on the over imaginative mind of a man with too much time on his hand)

Chapter 2 – Timmy fell down the well

Do you know what it is like to walk in the shadows of Jesus Christ? I was the awkward younger brother, with bad acne and a unibrow. In fact, my brother rarely spoke to me… he was too busy being the popular kid in town. I’m making him out as some kind of monster; this is far from the truth. However, when you’re the outcast in the family it’s hard not be jealous.

My brother was always the cool kid in school. Whenever there was a party, he was there. Jesus was the guy who had it all; good looks, charm, and special powers. Guys wanted to be him and girls wanted to be with him. The list below is a few abilities Jesus developed as a teenager:

1. Never had to wash his hair
2. Turned birds into frogs
3. Gave sheep a 3^rd eye
4. Could sing alto, baritone, and bass
5. Could play every musical instrument
6. Blinked once every 16 minutes
7. Could clap with one hand
8. Turned sand into water
9. Farts smelled like roses…
10. Pulled bread out of thin air

One night our mother convinced Jesus to take me with him to a local celebration. “When we get there, pretend like you’re my servant” he said walking 10 feet in front of me.

At that moment something inside me just clicked on! As we approached the town well I remember wishing he would just fall into it! Just than, Jesus tripped over a large stone… AND FELL INTO THE WELL! Everything happened so fast, within seconds Jesus was screaming for help at the bottom of the well!

Frank – “Hey what happened” shouting down the well

Jesus – “What does it look like Frank… I fell down the well”

Frank – “I’ll go get help. Don’t go anywhere”

Jesus – “Hey Frank, don’t just stand there like an idiot… go get somebody”

Frank – “You know what Jesus, maybe you should just stay down there for a couple hours. You can think about why it is you always treat me like a 3 eyed sheep”

Jesus – “Look! Do you think we could talk about this later, it smells down here.”

Frank – “I’ll tell you what Jesus, if you promise to treat me better (like a brother should) then I’ll get you out of there. In fact, I want you to tell everybody at the celebration how I saved your life.”

Jesus – “This is stupid”

Frank – “Do you promise”?

Jesus – “Fine”

*Side note: whenever somebody uses the word “Fine”, they are lying!

Frank – “Don’t just want you to say fine, you have to say the actual words”

Jesus – “Frank I promise to be a nicer brother to you at all times. Now can you please find a way to get me out of here”.

Frank – “OK! I wish Jesus was out from the well”

Just then Jesus appeared in front of me. He stood there dripping wet and staring at me. Finally he spoke, “That was amazing, how did you do that”?

As it turned out, Jesus was not the only one in the family with special powers. It was on that fateful night I realized two things:

1. My brother would always look at me with kinder eyes
2. I had amazing wishing powers

*Side note: You now know where the wishing well comes from

The moment we walked into town celebration, Jesus was telling everybody how I saved his life. Not only did he tell his friends about the well, he even added how I took down 13 thieves and helped a cat out of a tree! It was one of the coolest moments in my life; everybody was giving me elbows and cheering my name!

Side Note: Back then people gave elbows… not high fives!