This is the story of Frank Christ

(Loosely based on the over imaginative mind of a man with too much time on his hand)

Chapter 1 – Don’t eat the fish

Many last names hold general reference to great people in history; names like Kennedy, Columbus, Shakespeare, and Mozart. Just speaking those names will automatically provide the common man a mental picture.

My name is Frank Christ and I have the most recognized last name in history. You may have heard of my brother, his name is Jesus! I know what your thinking, no really I do… it’s one of my given powers. Your thinking “I never heard of Frank Christ” and “Jesus never had a brother”. Well, did you know that George Washington had a half brother named Lawrence? Just because you never heard of somebody doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

The truth is my brother is a great and powerful man; everyday billions of people turn to him for advise and help. Many years ago, some guys got together and even wrote a book about his life. It’s been translated more times and into more languages than any other book. More than five billion copies have been sold since 1815, making it the best-selling book of all-time.

I also wrote a book, called “The Art of Fishing”… but you don’t see me bragging! In fact, until recently I have been content with living in the shadows of my older brother. However, a wise man once said, “The longer you stay in the shadows the harder it will be to come into the sun”. Ok, so I was the one who said that… I was talking to myself in the mirror. By the way, I was there when the mirror was invented. It’s true; I was a big part of it (Exodus 38:8)

I’m writing this book to help you see the big picture. I want you to have a better understanding to what was going on behind the scenes of my brother’s life. For example, did you know that the Apostle Matthew dated my ex-girlfriend behind my back! Jesus found out and told me over bread and wine. It was crazy the way it told me, “Frank, I’m not going to sugarcoat this… Janet is cheating on you with Matthew”! I was so upset and just kept shouting out “Oh My Dad” over and over!

I’m jumping ahead of myself; this is not the way I wanted to start this book. In fact, you really need to know more about me and what I’m all about. I was born exactly 23 days after my brother Jesus, on January 17^th. I know it doesn’t add up; however, the big guy upstairs worked on a different timetable. My stepfather Joseph decided it was a wise decision to send me off to his relatives in “Beersheba”. I spent the first 7 years of my life away from brother… who did not even know I existed. On my 7^th birthday I received word that I would be returning home to my family!

I even have the entry into my journal from that day:

“Today mommy sent a latter that said I could packe my bag and cume home. I happy to meat Jesus. Uncle James feds me fish everyday. I hate fish. My cousins put fish in my bag all time. I hate fish.”

Upon arriving home I was welcomed into the loving arms of my mother, Mary. However, Jesus was not so excited to see me. I remember the thing he said to me, “don’t touch my stuff”. It took awhile for the two of us to become friends. We had our ups and downs, like the time I shaved his head while he slept or when he told the entire town that I had a third nipple.

However, it was day Jesus fell down the well that would create the bond of brotherhood between us. It’s one of the best stories never told in the bible and goes something like this:

Chapter 2 – Timmy fell down the well….