I enjoy some good ol’ dirty talk…

What is about a woman’s lower back that drives me insane? Every guy and girl has his or her favorite body part, for me it happens to the small of a woman’s back. There is nothing better for me, to lead her into a room with my hand rested upon her back.

For some readers, the above love may seem awkward. The common man would say breasts or ass are what gets him going. Then again, many men would say it’s in the eyes, mouth, or even her neck. These are cool in my book… to each his own!

But what about fetishes is there a limit to what society would consider acceptable? The answer is hands down… hell yes! It’s more acceptable for her to talk dirty while doing the deed, and then let’s say… wearing a diaper while being spanked! There are even people will have sex all while wearing adult size animal costume; no lie, they are the strangest sub-culture called Furries.

Call me old fashion; however, I have never found the need for diapers or adult size duck costumes. Does this make me average, could I be lacking excitement in the bedroom? This question has caused me to research, educate, and possibly choose some flavor in my sexual universe.

Foot Fetish – People who get their rocks off by rubbing, licking, sucking feet! Are you fucking insane? Allow me to run down the series of possible issues with this fetish; blisters, calluses, corns, foot odor, sweaty feet, warts, or bunions! Sorry Dr. Sholl, but I can’t take that chance.

Food Play – Many people enjoy combing food and sex… like cherries, strawberries, or chocolate. However, some Jackasses feel the need to drive their fruit wagon to crazy town! The idea of cheeseburgers, French fries, and milk shakes during sex is just not right! I can’t help but recall when George from Seinfeld decides that adding food and television to his equation will make sex even better!

Vampirism – This is where a bunch of adults who’s parents never loved them, decide to wear black capes, makeup, and fangs. It’s a freaky world of role-playing sex with psychos named Morpheus… I think they are stuck in the matrix!

Vore - Short for “voraphilia” or “vorarephilia”: a fetish in which one fantasizes about being eaten alive or eating another creature alive (sexual in nature). The most common type of vore is “soft vore”, being swallowed or swallowing whole with no bloodshed.

ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS!?!?!?!

Screw it, I’m sticking with what I know works! A naked girl, some gymnastic flips, vodka, bamboo sticks, candle wax, a baseball glove, a lampshade, and 13 positions from the Kama Sutra!